Random Semicoherent Thoughts – Volume 47

The second house that Ms. Boss and I bought as a couple was a house that we ‘moved’ from a lot about two miles away to a piece of property we owned. It wasn’t a mobile home or a manufactured home, it was a regular home like you’d find in any subdivision that was put on a couple of steel beams and moved to our newly-poured foundation. When they poured the foundation wall, I told them to make it two and a half feet high. Knowing that my father-in-law, brother-in-law, and I would have to crawl under the house to plumb it, I asked for plenty of space and they poured the walls just I like I asked. Moving day came on a day I had to work, so I wasn’t there when they tried to put the house on the foundation. It turns out the beams would only go so high, and they had to make a raised path of dirt right down the middle – a path they couldn’t remove once the house was in place. Unfortunately, right down the middle is where the sewer line needed to hang from the bottom of the house making it necessary to crawl through a space significantly less than two and a half feet to get to most of the important parts of the house. On my first attempt to get over to where my father-in-law was to help him out, I found this out the hard way. I got stuck… and I panicked. It took me awhile to wriggle myself free. I don’t know that I ever crawled over to the north side of the house again. It cost me more than a few dollars and favors to get things done down there until we moved.


Our driveway at the same house was almost three quarters of a mile long. The first hundred yard were paved, but from there on, the gravel on the drive got thinner and thinner until there was nothing. While we had a four wheel drive Suburban to navigate this drive most times, it wasn’t always up to the task. One particular winter, the temperature yoyo’d for days, above freezing during the day, well-below freezing at night. It turned what was normally a fairly solid piece of our driveway into an absolute quagmire. I buried that Suburban up to the axles bringing the family home one afternoon. After getting the family out and walking them successfully home, I started digging. About an hour later, I got it unstuck and drove up the hill. For the next two weeks, we parked on the far side of the muddy spot and walked a quarter mile in. The next morning, I’d wake up, walk to the Suburban, drive it up to the house on frozen ground that was as good as pavement, take the girls to school, and drive back home. By the time we got back home, it was a impassable quagmire again. Nothing brings your attention to the weather forecast like a long, dirt driveway.


One weekend at the same house, our youngest Bosslet, less than a year old at the time, started acting like she was under the weather. Ms. Boss took the twins to church an hour away in the Suburban leaving our eldest, our youngest, and myself at home. No big deal, right? Wrong. Once they were an hour away with their phones off in church, the youngest Bosslet had a seizure, something I’ve never seen before in my life. The one thing I knew I needed to do was get her to the hospital. The one thing I knew I had no way of doing was getting her to the hospital. While I had a car parked at the house, it was a two-wheel drive and parked on the wrong side of the muddy spot due to piss poor planning. I called 9-1-1, scooped up my youngest, told my eldest to follow me, and started hiking. I got about a third of the way down the driveway when I slipped and fell in a spot we called ‘the Big Crossing’. I sat there for five seconds, covered in mud from head to toe, and said a single word, almost under my breath – ‘help’. I don’t know who I expected to hear me and I don’t know why I said it at all, but asking for help from anyone or anything has never been something that was easy for me. I picked myself up, I picked my youngest up, and I started hiking again. It must have been some sort of sight for the ambulance, who arrived just as I got to the end of the driveway, seeing some fat guy covered in mud from head to toe carrying a baby in his arms. I swore I would never be trapped like that or in that bad of shape where I couldn’t rise to the challenge ever again. Unfortunately, it’s all too easy to forget promises like this you make to yourself.


I worked midnights for the better part of the first twelve years that I worked in public safety. There were times, especially when I worked five days a week, that I felt like I would never have a normal life. It seemed like I was doomed to miserable on the days that I worked or the days that I was off. Fortunately, I eventually found my ‘midnight tribe’ – a group that had the same strange schedule that I did. I certainly helped to hang out with a group of people who didn’t think that being up at 3:00 in the morning on a Tuesday was a strange thing.


The early years of the Boss Family were some pretty lean times. We had twins shortly after we were married and decided to move closer to family. No sooner had we established ourselves in our new location, our youngest came along. Working for Ms. Boss was out of the question as child care would have swallowed her income. I changed careers to make the move and was working a job an hour away at less pay than I was before. To generate some extra income, I worked a second job on nights and weekend. Monday though Friday was a one hour commute, eight and a half hours of work, one hour home. Saturday days were completely devoted to church. Saturday nights were an eight hour shift at my second job. Sundays were devoted to any work that needed to be done around the house. Our weekly food budget for six was $75. I applied for a supervisory job in the middle of all of this, only to be told that I was not what they were looking for. I can remember sitting there at times thinking “is this it? Is this all that there is? Is this what the rest of what my life will look like?” I’m happy to report today that the answer is “no”.

Random Semicoherent Thoughts – Volume 46

I’ve been writing another RST post that’s almost good to go, but it centers around the notion of being trapped. If you’re reading this, you officially made it to 2021 and should be greeted by optimism and anticipation of new beginnings, not by ‘get me the HELL out of here’.


When I was a bachelor, the first thing I ate in my new abodes – apartments, then a house – was Cream of Wheat – a nice, big, hot bowl made with milk and a large knob of butter and several spoonfuls of sugar on top. It was always in the same bowl – dusty pink on the outside, white on the inside. I’d draw the spoon around the top outer edge where it was cooling, bring it to my mouth, and savor the sweet, buttery taste. It’s actually been years since I’ve had a bowl, but I can taste it even as I’m writing about it. As fond as the memories are, I much prefer seeing my bachelorhood behind me.


When Ms. Boss and I bought our first house together, she had a bit of a different idea. The day after our first night in the house was Thanksgiving, actually our first one as a married couple. Our bed was set up in the first floor living room because we were still working on our room on the second floor. I awoke after a day of sleeping – I was working midnights at the time – to find Ms. Boss cooking every single recipe from that years Better Homes and Gardens Thanksgiving article. After shaking the cobwebs, I started helping. The result was the most amazing meal I’ve had for any holiday. So magical was the meal that Brussels sprouts went straight from something I would never ever eat, to my favorite vegetable. Even though our crew is mostly vegetarian or vegan these days, recipes from that meal remain staples in the Boss household almost twenty years later. Sometimes, the things you start at the very beginning endure.


I remember very our first home cooked meal as a couple very fondly. We arrived at the beach house where we spent our honeymoon after a long day of driving. The first bags up the stairs were the groceries. Ground beef was quickly placed on the skillet before I went downstairs to grab more bags. By the time I returned, the ground beef was super brown and crispy. I opened the jar of pasta sauce, stirred it into the beef, and hoped for the best. What I got was amazing. It turns out, I discovered, that browning the meat actually means browning the meat, not making it into a gray mass. Sometimes, you just have to be patient. I wished I would have learned that lesson fully back then. To be honest, I’m still learning that lesson now.


Lest you think all I do is eat, I have other stories of beginnings. In the earlier days of our marriage, Ms. Boss and I went to church every week. At one point, it was a three-hour ordeal getting all six of us washed, clothed, packed, and out the door. As we drove down the driveway, Ms. Boss would turn towards me and straighten my collar and fix my tie. After doing the lion’s share of the work to get the kids ready, we weren’t truly ready to begin our journey until she felt she took a moment to take care of me as well. While we don’t get dressed up as often as we once did and the children are able to take care of themselves these days, I still look forward to having her putting the finishing touches on us starting our evening together.


How did I begin 2021? In bed. I haven’t been sleeping well lately and had been up since before 5. I woke up when one of my daughters yelled ‘Happy New Year’, heard the farm down the street shoot their guns as they do every year, then rolled back over and went to sleep. I woke this morning at 5:30, sat in meditation, journaled, solved some chess puzzles, then started working on a house project. All in all, I thought it was appropriate for where I’m at in my life at the moment.

Haibun 5

Everyday, just after noon, this small white and gray bird flies in settling on the frame of the sliding glass door. Just the briefest moment later, his routine begins – bend, peck, straighten, hop – bend, peck, straighten, hop – industriously moving from one side of the window to another, searching for a morsels in the crevice. Their actions, driven by survival, bring an instant of beauty brigtening the gray December day. By the time I notice, grab my phone, and open the camera, my tiny lunch companion flies away to continue his day and leaves me to mine. Like so many other things in life, the only preservation of this moment will be the memory in the eroding edifice of my mind.

so many moments

have already flown away

fading from memory