Random Semicoherent Thoughts – Volume 24

I started my last post off by telling you, dear reader, about taking care of a septic problem in my house.  What I didn’t tell you is that Ms. Boss sent me a text that very evening about how I was her knight in shining armor – her hero.  I aspire to be nothing more.


I like modern day super hero movies because I like modern-day super heroes.  Most modern-day super heroes have struggle that they must overcome to be worthy of the title, not to mention a full-length feature. They are both human and more than human at the same time.  Perhaps I like them because they suggest that someone as flawed as me can be a hero.


Growing up, my friends and I pretended to be super heroes as many children do.  Who was I?  I was the mighty Cat Diesel Power – an identity I derived from a Catepillar Tractor hat I wore at times while growing up.  My super power? – the million watt shock.  Strangely enough, this would become my signature disco dance in the late single digits of my life. Fortunately for everyone, I grew out of this stage of my life.


If could possess a super power these days, it would be flying.  If nothing else, it would make my commute oh so much more tolerable.


One of the most earth-shattering moments of my life occurred in junior English Literature when I read The Scarlet Letter.  The fact that a preacher could be the villain just rocked my rather naive view of the world.  So sorry if this snippet is a plot spoiler for anyone.


I still occasionally fantasize about scoring a touchdown in football and being the hero of the game.  Seeing as I’m an out-of-shape forty-six year-old that barely had the talent to play offensive tackle thirty years ago, this won’t happen.  Still, the marching band playing the fight song because of what I did still sounds sweet in my dreams.


Was I ever a sports hero ever? Yes, once.  The score was tied heading into my wrestling match against a team we had never lost to.  With the only match after mine almost guaranteed to be a loss by pin, I need to pin my opponent to guarantee we wouldn’t lose.  I knew I could win, as poor of a wrestler as I was, my opponent was even worse.  I dominated the match, but just couldn’t seem to get the job done and was in danger of winning the match by a technical fall which would have left us a point short and my coach made sure I was well of this (as an aside, he was 5’3″ and I’m 6’3″ which made him getting in my face a little almost humorous).  With time running out I got him on his back and squeezed as hard as I could.  When the ref slapped the mat signalling the pin, I jumped up and immediately pointed at my father – the only person in the building more excited than me.  He pointing back at me is perhaps one of my fondest memories.  I’m actually crying as I type this – despite everything, he’s still my hero.


Until next time, go out and try to be someone’s hero.  I’ll try my best to keep being Ms. Boss’ hero.

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